The Evil Refrigerator Replacer

You open your fridge and realize someone has replaced all your food with things you hate to eat. Describe what's in there. And just take a guess at who did this. 

So I am starving, mouth watering with saliva thinking about the crunchy dill spear pickle. I'm talking on the phone, looking at the magnet on the fridge that says "Flatulence is not a form of creative expression, dear." I'm grabbing the jar that should be there and wham I look down to discover pickled pig feet! What is going on?

Frantically looking back into the fridge I start to freak out. Not even bothering to tell the person on the other end of the line on the phone, I lay the phone on the table. What happened to my strawberries, and why the heck are there beets there now?

Digging through the rest of the refrigerator I find more and more things that make my stomach somersault and try to lurch back into my throat! Chicken livers, millet, pickled ginger, and more gross things are starting to become small piles around you. You discover a can at the back of the fridge...

Thinking that it possibly be your saving grace can of chicken you grab it. Only to discover that it's a partially opened can of sardines! Giving a yelp and actually throwing it the entire can and it's contents into the trash you glare at the shelves in the now lukewarm refrigerator. 

You start looking through it again hoping someone hasn't completely lost their minds while getting groceries. A question package of meat is sitting on the shelf. You read the sticker and you almost vomit on the spot. Turkey necks! 

You quickly throw it away. But there is just one more thing to even think about touching in the fridge. Oh oh cheese!! Score! You open the package and the smell alone almost knocks you backwards. But who cares it's cheese. Getting the knife you slice into it. What the--- something moved in it. Literally moved! Oh my-- there are several things moving... Glancing at the label you read, "Casu Marzu." Ok that doesn't help you at all because the shelf life is still good.

Puking after reading on Google that it's other name is "Maggot cheese," you slam the door shut and vow that who ever did this will get a hodgepodge of this for supper. You make a list of people who would do this and finally circle the name. And they just thought pink slime was bad for them...

First things, first... If someone ever does this to me I promise that I will make sure they meet a very painful fate! Because this scenario is just plain evil, and if someone does this they should be punished!

This is total fiction. I was requested to write a response to this;

You open your fridge and realize someone has replaced all of your food with things you hate to eat. Describe what's in there.

Eight Second Ride

It's pretty cliché to say "Let It Go" now because that's to a character that doesn't actually doesn't let go of her past but learns to accept it and face it. And that's what I am about to do. Facing this is one the biggest thing I have ever done. My life I have a feeling is going to be an eight second ride...

This girl is growing up finally. Does that change me? Sure! As my cousin loves to tell people, "If you have never changed in your life then you live a pretty dull, lonely life." People don't like change because so much is changing around them. I have been one of those people for too long. I have loved the normal and the safe. I push limits where I know that family will reel me in if I need it.

Did you hear that?--- That's the sound of me shutting the door to that part of my life. I am tired of listening to the complainers and the Debbie Downers. I am making me who I want to be! I will probably be more covered up in the future. Maybe, I am finally becoming a classy Southern girl with her pearls not found on her ankle the next morning.

Being single again kind of scares me but at the same time it empowers me. I am not daddy's little girl anymore. My attitude has changed toward life. I made decisions and people made decisions. We all have our faults. Will I make more decisions that are bad? Oh yeah because I am human.

One mistake I am not making anymore? Letting others control me, that is the girl is gone. I am embracing where I am from and the stock that I come from even if that's a tiny town that people think is a town. The land where a tide can roll and an eagle can be all about war. Also the colors auburn and crimson mean something like religion in my neck of the woods.

I have recently started talking to a guy that isn't from Alabama-- That's a first. I have dated from different ethnicities but this is a first. This guy isn't from my country at all so me being so country strikes him big time. He has his idioms and I have mine. Trust me, fixin' to is something I had never really given any thought about until he asked me what did I have to fix.

So I am starting out with something really new. Could this be the biggest mistake of my life? Sure, but will I regret it? Nope. Not one bit, because I am proud of who I was and who I am. Don't like it? Well let's just say this girl knows how to load more than her dishwater and her laundry. I have been able to shoot since the age of three.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 30: Who I Was, Am and Will Be

Minus the resume and cover letter and how to vote.

Dear Crazy wild and stubborn,

You did decent. You probably shouldn't have stole that car but hey you didn't get caught. Good job on turning down the drugs. Don't worry about the beating the heart took it was just a few punches trust me in a few years it's going to be stomped on. 

That hairdo though... yeahhhhh you looked like a dude at times. Not cool. From now on lets keep it long and soft. The rest of it we did good. Okay and be really glad we ignored mom. She wasn't worth a damn anyhow.

Dear even more wild and crazy but less stubborn,

I don't hate you. Yeah you screw up but that's life. You can't have everything your way and thank you for finally realizing that. It makes us a lot happier. Thank you for finally settling down with a good guy with a good job that you KNOW will treat you right.

You look awesome in those jeans stop flipping out at the size of your butt. Get up and do more stair exercise and it may not jiggle as much then and atleast be more firm. 

Dear hopefully less wild and crazy but more stubborn,

You did it! You had kids with that Edwin dude! You look gorgeous, early wrinkles and all. You look hot mama. You handle everything well. You make getting old look good. Just stay naked!!!

Fresh Start Challenge Day 28: You Would Think I Would

After living through the turmoil of April 27th, you'd think I would be more aware of what to do during a storm but I am not. I am just not that organized. I do know that when I was living in an apartment with my exboyfriend I did request a ground floor apartment. 

Right now I live in Hunter's house, so there for I live in a house that it well prepared for any kind of disaster from fire, tornado, and snow. Trust me she got this. But you will find out about all of it when you read her blog in a few hours! 

But as far as me, no I don't have any plans. I may once we get our house built. 

Fresh Start Challenge Day 27: ROLL TIDE

Tailgating...

I have been doing this since I was before I born. My last couple of meals inside my mom was tailgating food. So there you go!

I love the games, the music, the food, the atmosphere, and of course the alcohol.

I love the area on the Quad.

The Quad is a large 22 acre green space at the heart of the University of Alabama’s campus. It is anchored by the President’s Mansion on the south. Most of the campus burned during the Civil War. The President’s Mansion was spared due to the efforts of the president’s wife, making it one of the oldest buildings on campus.

Seriously it might just be a square piece of land to some but to most of us wearing crimson and white and screaming about a rolling tide it means a  great deal of history to us.

Soooo during the fall on most Saturdays you can find me chowing down on the quad. 

Fresh Start Day 26: Deal Me

Gambit... Ahhh the Cajun that's ragin'. I love me a good southern boy with a dark side but still good. This is him. Total heartthrob.

And Channing Tatum is fixing to play him in the live action movie, um hello, yay!

I love how he is usually a hard ass but when it comes to who he loves his vulnerability shows and it's endearing.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 24: When You're The Best of Friends

You have your whole life mapped out on how you want something. You party all the time. You have a job. The world is revolving around you because you have a boyfriend. And, even though you are low on money a lot you still think life is pretty great.

First, cancer strikes your boyfriend. You have to change the map course a little. Your job starts to suffer because you have hangovers a lot. When cancer strikes and your job suffers the money goes even lower. Now you are begging to party but you have no money.

Then your boyfriend decided to dump you and you beg for him not leave. He stays longer until the worst hits. You find him lying big time to you about where he was. Instead of being at work he is hanging out with his friend you hate a lot. Instead not taking a lunch, he was really chatting up that girl that he never told he was taken. You think you can't live without him.

You leave to go see family except your favorite cousin who is clear across the country. You return to find your whole apartment trashed and empty. You finally realize you don't need that garbage in your life even if you feel guilty for him having cancer.

You just pray about where to go next. Your aunt calls telling you she sent a ticket to Seattle for you because your best friend/cousin is depressed from being sick and also needs help moving back to Alabama.

People can say what they want to about but why keep someone in your life that lies about where they are and doesn't have the respect and dignity for you to tell people they are with you. That's just keeping the person unhappy and you as well no matter "how badly" you think you love them or you make things work.

I am so grateful God put my path to intertwine with Hunter's. It hasn't been a perfect path. My heart has been broken again and it took a while to get a solid job. But I don't drink all the time now. My boyfriend now is a wonderful childhood friend who I know won't go off the deep end. I have grown closer to my family. I have new friends that really support me and make me laugh and give me new opportunities that take me to places I never dreamed about going.

But most importantly I have grow closer to God because he showed me that I needed to realize His relationship with me was more important than a relationship on Earth.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 23: That Girl

1. I spritz all cards and letters I send in the mail with perfume or body spray. 
2. I actually send notes to everyone. Trust me I have McDonald's free food all the time when I get a wrong order. 
3. You can mess with me all you want but you mess with my friends and family and I will secretly destroy your life without you realizing it. 
4. I am a firm believer that if you start something you finish it! I don't take excuses well.
5. I worked at the Pig once upon a time.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 22: Burn

I still have nightmares about it.

I can feel the anguish when I wake up in a night sweat.

What if that morning it hadn't been my daddy calling me rather the police telling "Are you Carolina Collins? I'm sorry Miss but your family was in terrible house fire last night."

That cripples my heart each time. Yes we lost a lot that night but I still have all of my siblings, even the ones that drive me crazy.

I still even have Georgia that drives me crazy and is totally letting a man rob her from the cradle but I love them both to death.

I am always grateful when I see the twins trying to get in my purse for gum. Or Tex screaming that I treat my cars like my boyfriends.

I don't take my family for granted anymore.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 21: Seriously Fattening

"Dude I am not going to Wendy's over McDonald's for fries are you freaking nuts?"

"Wendy's has better fries. They are better for you."

"I like fattening fries."

"They use sea salt which is better for you."

"Please it's fried and salt. It's going to be fattening no matter what. And I would rather have it taste good."

Fresh Start Challenge Day 20: Photos Say A Million Words

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Fresh Start Challenge Day 19: Nothing too Shocking Here Folks

Fully Clothed

I was told that I wasn't allowed to put being naked. Well bite me! Okay so I can stay in bad mood naked, but let's face it I feel better...

The thing that makes me feel better no matter? Going home. Seriously, I used to bitch about how I couldn't wait to get away from the tiny towns where my family was from. I used to complain that cell service sucked.

Now I embrace those things. I realize how amazing those memories stick out. Running through the fields, horseback riding, and dodging Uncle Mike's arrows. 

Hey wait I can run around naked at home! 

Well anyhow, nothing can take this place from me. I love going home to Eutaw and Tuscaloosa. I will always love it more than Huntsville. I can't get into Huntsville. Sure the Lush is close but it's the Swanky mall where there isn't anything low key at all. Let's face it that's not me these people dress like Chris and Hunter on their business days and that's just not me who wears cowgirl boots or flip flops. These people's flip flops cost $80 and mine may have cost $15 at the most. 

So take me home anytime I am stressed and a little Jack N Coke on the front porch while dancing and listening to Luke Bryan will make me so much better.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 18: Twin

The one smooching me gave me the most encouragement to blog. Her blog is fabulous! She is branching out into new things and I believe that is freaking awesome! I know I am not the soul blogger like she is but I like the fact she gives me encouragement to keep everyone laughing. I would be a basketcase without her in my life and she is living in a week!!! So if I seem out of sorts until August, that's why. You know because I actually talk to her every single day and I don't just come to her when I need something. So I feel I have a true right to really miss her and I will. I am not just saying that to fit in. For you see I have talked to her every single day. I haven't been selfish and only talked to her when I needed something. I have checked on her and made sure she is the best she can be. This girl will conquer whatever comes her way and for that she is not only my blogging inspiration but my life inspiration as well.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 17: Confused

I love Duck season because it's fun to get covered in muck and mud and hide out and use the duck call. Not to mention really hunting.

And Deer season is just awesome all around...


Wait.... everyone else's blogs have been about the seasons.... Um folks we live in Alabama. We have summer and Winter..... There is none of that breezy spring day or crisp fall air crap. And between each of those seasons we have tornadoes.

Summer

Basically because everyone bitched about the coldness. I do not want to hear one freaking thing! I have already slapped a person at work because of this. 

• Bikini weather - next to nothing in public!!
• Skinny dipping weather
• Sandals
• Lemonade

Winter

• The flurries we get that end everything!
• Snuggling!
• Eskimo keeping warm!!! 
• Stew

Fresh Start Challenge Day 16: Ground Breaking

Seriously!

The ground has been dug for our new home, but only partly because Edwin and I decided that instead of being selfish we are letting the construction crew dedicate themselves to the people affected by the tornadoes.

However, seeing the ground being crumbled was awesome, but it also made me realize how fortunate I am too. That's when I talked to Edwin and we agreed that we have places to live right now and so many people don't right so they need the machinery more than we do. We are even paying for the crew to help some families. It makes me feel like a million dollars seeing the smiles of those people.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 15: 15 Reasons...

I LOVE ME!

1. I have been saved. No that doesn't make me a Saint, that makes me aware that I am forgiven.
2. I finished and graduated college with masters and honors.
3. I know how to get down and dirty to pearls and heels in a matter of minutes.
4. I am independent person.
5. I can shoot and gut a deer.
6. I did not faint when meeting Luke Bryan.
7. I survived a sorority.
8. I have conquered so many of my dreams and goals through out life. 
9. I am not scared to try new things.
10. I can make people laugh.
11. I am a pro at three legged races.
12. I can do a lot of the rehearsed dances. 
13. I have loved with my whole heart.
14. I do not conform to statistics I make statistics.
15. I am willing to live to live in a nudist colony! 

Hehe you all thought I was going to do this without mentioning me being naked. 

Fresh Start Challenge Day 13: Unconventional Kind Of Girl

Date time!

At home???? Go muddin', mud war, mud wrestling and then running wild. Finishing up the evening sitting on the porch making homemade ice cream and swinging on the swing with mosquito lit mason jar candles.


Trip Date (US): Nashville date. Bars, country music everywhere, plus so much to do and shop there.


International dates: Giethoorn in Holland is on my list to visit.


But just dancing in the moonlight and eating is fine with me anytime.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 12: Moving On

Dear Robert,

I was devastated the morning I woke up and found our place in ruins. You had completely destroyed our place and took what you could sale. On top of that you demolished my vehicle to the point it was not able to be fixed.

This isn't going to be long because I don't have much to say to you except that I hope soon you learn to accept yourself better. You were who I thought I would spend my life with even though I was an alcoholic because of that. I paid for your cancer treatments and everything and you just decide one more to devastate everything.

But I no longer hurt from that I've dealt with heartache since you but I also found true love. But I don't think that's thanks to you. That's probably a dark secret that I will take to my grave with me.

I hope you are doing well, because I'm not even sure if you are still alive.

xoxo,
Carolina.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 10: 10 Totally Me Things

1. BEING NAKED!
2. Picking my nose (I do wash my hands afterwards). But I'm sorry using a tissue just doesn't get it.
3. Eating fruit out of a can
4. Dressing my cats up in bows.
5. Going through the drive thru at McDonald's so much they know me.
6. Sleeping the wrong way in the bed
7. Hunting with +Hunter
8. Drinking
9. Muddin
10. Luke Bryan

Fresh Start Challenge Day 9: This Kiss

It's perpetual bliss.

Edwin and I have been kissing for years but it still makes me tingle all over.

And our kiss goodnight is nothing short of how he truly loves me.

He drives me crazy and so do his kisses.

He has me floating and has me flying ;)